Woman at Prayer - 2, "Security"

Another essay from the booklet A Woman at Prayer by Rev. Conleth Overman:

GOD, OUR SECURITY

It is easy to be secure - if we know how

There can be no question about the need that each of us has for security.  Lewis Carroll once wrote a phrase that shows us why: "We are but older children, dear, who fret to find our bedtime near."  * Much of adult bravery is merely whistling in the dark.

It is understandable that we should have fears and moments of anxiety. Our little personality is surrounded by the limitless unknown. We have but a brief few minutes of life here on this earth where time has dragged its slow length on for countless centuries. And after life what? Tenny­son reflected on the puzzle of eternity: "Twilight and evening bell, and after that the dark ... " **  The candle of life is snuffed out and we are alone in the dark.

And thus, standing on the sliding slope of time, we clutch at all sorts of straws to get for our­self a feeling of security. There are some that grasp material possessions; and all that they actually gain is further anxiety. Others grasp at a partner in marriage; and they, in as much as original sin has made human nature a broken reed that pierces the hand, find further sorrow. And yet others hold fast to reputation which is a mocking scold at best. And all of these, because they look to creatures for their security, build on sand.

And there is yet another desperate expediency to which many yield in their frantic search for security. They look to their own inner resources for security. But in as much as they themselves are creatures they are only trying to draw water from empty wells with broken pitchers.

The greatest secret that we can learn for our peace of mind is the futility of creatures. It took David a lifetime to learn this lesson. But he learned it and wrote in his old age: "Omnis homo mendax" (every man's a liar) ***. Neither possessions, nor spouse, nor child, nor fame, nor self, provides a firm foundation for our security. It is only by admitting the limitations of creatures -ourselves included-that We begin to have sense. Then we can begin to turn to God.

God is our security. He is eternal and thus unaffected by the mutability of time; He is in­finite. and thus limitless; He is changeless, and thus sure and steady; He is all merciful, and thus possessed of unbounded compassion for weakness; He is just, and thus appreciative of every spark of good in us.
God does not love us because we deserve His love; God loves us because He is God. "God hath first loved us," exclaimed St. John (I John 4:19). God fell in love with nothingness, with weakness and little­ness. It is our very limitations that attract God. Our darkness calls out to God's light, because light shows up best in darkness.

We are told that the Saints gloried in their weakness, in their faults and failings. It is true that they recognized the glimmerings of virtue that were manifested in their lives. But they gave credit for what goodness they possessed to God. They welcomed their limitations because thus they had no desire to steal any glory from God. All that was good in themselves they ascribed to God; their sins they claimed for their own. "Thou dost but crown thy graces, 0 God," cried out ·St. Augustine, "when thou dost reward our merits!"

The sincere acceptance of ourselves, and com­plete dependence on God - this is the way to inner security and peace of mind.

*Proglogue to Through the Looking Glass
**Crossing the Bar
*** Psalm 116:11  My New American Bible says:  "No one can be trusted".   Man may dissappoint but God never does