Woman at Prayer - 8, Wisdom

Eighth in a series from the booklet "A Woman at Prayer" by the Rev. Conleth Overman.

WHO MAKES THE RULES? 

There is great wisdom in knowing how a thing works best. 

One might say that God's rules for us are the "Directions" that come with the human appliance. Wise housewives are scrupulous in observing the set of directions which come with the new washing machine. They know from past experience that wrong use of a deli­cate machine results in repair bills and inconvenience.  Now, since God has been good enough to set down the directions we must observe for the use of the human machine, is it not wise to observe them?

The manufacturer is trying to help the purchaser with the directions he includes in the package with the appliance.  And God is being kind to us when He makes the rules for us.  The human being is so complicated, so delicately adjusted, so intricately related to other beings, that only the wisdom of God Himself is adequate to make rules for us.   It is sheer madness to make our own.

There is nothing that gets us into more trouble than our attempt to make our own rules.  Eve attempted to make rules for her­self and look what happened to her.  God had made the rule she was to observe in regard to the fruit of the Tree of Life.  But she knew better and thus opened the Pandora Box of Original Sin.

What motivates women to make their own rules is their unwillingness to face reality.  It takes humility and great good will to say:  "This is what God wants, and this I will do."   There is in each of us a fatal attraction to do our own will.  Was it not Queen Elizabeth, the illegitimate daughter of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, who said:  "Rather to rule in hell than to serve in heaven"?

And trouble, trouble, trouble is the result of making our own rules.  The ideas we have in our own heads do not change what is outside us.  A person may decide to abolish the law of gravity.  But the law of gravity does not thereby cease to exist, even for that individual.  Behold her climbing out on the ledge of a 20-story window; behold her muttering with determination,  "I refuse to be bound by the law of gravity;" and now behold her smashed to jelly on the pavement below.  And what happens in the physical order from making our own rules in defiance of God's rules, hap­pens as well in the moral order.

Why is it that we grow hostile to God for giving us the rules we must follow?  We ought to be eternally grateful that He thought enough of us to set the pattern for us.  It is easy to lead a useful, contented, happy life on earth if we tailor ourselves to God's ideas for us.  God is our Heavenly Father; God knows what will hurt us, and what is best for us both in time and in eternity.  Fortun­ately  for us God has revealed His Will for us and continues to guide us safely in the vital teaching of His word and of the Church.  How foolish to resist the restraining Hand of God and to jump off the deep end!

Much of our success in being women lies in accepting God's Will for us.  Humility to dis­trust our own will  and obedience to do what God wants of us are the two great feminine needs.  With all our heart the question in our title must be answered: "God makes the rules!"

Woman at Prayer - 7, "Happiness"

Seventh in a series of articles from the booklet A Woman at Prayer by Rev. Conlith Overman, (1962)

ON PEACE OF MIND

There is a pearl of great price to be had.

Sermon on the Mount by Carl Bloch

Two eminent scholars in a book* make  much of the unhappiness of contemporary women. " Never before in the history of the world" say the writers, has there been more unhappiness among women. And this, they go on to state in an age when women's rights, freedom, the fem­inine suffrage have won the day. 

We shall not quarrel with these eminent schol­ars nor question their statistics, nor object to their solution of the problem. We mention the book to point up the fact that there are unhappy women  in the world today. 

What can be done about unhappiness?  Well, first we can understand whence comes unhappi­ness. In every case we find that the unhappy person is the victim of wrong emphasis. The person assigns too great a value to some one factor of human living; or undervalues some other factor that ought to be highly regarded. 

We can say that the unhappy person is out of touch with reality. She lives in a dream world, and the dreams turn out to be all nightmares. 

By way of illustration, suppose that a person feels that it is absolutely essential always to have her own way.  That is what she lives for.   She will not, as she boasts, play second fiddle to anybody. Can you imagine a more unhappy per­son?  To have one's way always is to want to be God; and that is impossible. 

We have said that unhappiness is the product of placing the wrong emphasis.  We can enum­erate several possibilities for this wrong em­phasis:  Material possessions,  power over our fel­lowmen, unlimited pleasures, worldly success, peace at the expense of principle.  Anybody who places too high a value on the items in this list   is courting unhappiness. 

Our Savior came into this world to show us the way to happiness, both in this life and in the life to come.  And thus at the beginning of his public ministry he gave us His 'formula for happiness.'  This formula is found in the fifth chapter of St. Matthew's Gospel. It is com­monly known as the Eight Beatitudes. 

Instead of the colorless word "blessed," the original Greek text uses "makairos" which means happy.   So Christ actually said: "Happy are the poor of spirit ... Happy are the meek ... Happy are they that mourn . . . Happy are they who hunger and thirst after justice . . . Happy are the merciful ... Happy are the clean of heart... Happy are the peacemakers ... Happy are they who suffer persecution for justice' sake . . ." 

The Beatitudes are Christian points of empha­sis.  If we stress in our lives what Christ men­tions in the Beatitudes we will enjoy happiness.  There will be no confusion of mind for us.  We will know with the greater certitude of Faith what is best for us. 

*  There may have only been one book in 1960, but since then there have been thousands and after all the uproar of the feminist movement since then, nobody seems any happier.

Woman at Prayer - 6, "Self-deception"

ON FOOLING YOURSELF

The fool is the enemy principally of himself

The most dangerous kind of deception is self­-deception. At first sight it might seem impossible to fool oneself; but it is actually very easy. That's why the philosophers of Greece taught that the first step toward wisdom is know oneself; that's why the Saints of Christendom teach that humil­ity is the foundation of sanctity.

People are self-deceived because they want to be deceived. It is a bit painful to be stripped of our illusions and to face the truth. It seems more satisfactory to live in a world of haze and unreality. But it only seems more satisfactory; actually self-deception is a very great personal misfortune. Would you say that a person who does not feel the cold because of a slowly creeping paralysis is fortunate because he does not feel the cold?

There are several ways in which self-deception operates. Great quantities of people deceive them­selves by making religion a luxury. They pray in order to feel good; they go to church so that they may have the satisfaction of appearing pious; they give to charity so that they may have that "fine inner glow". Instead of being truly religious, they are rotten selfish.

Then there are the people who use religion for their own ends. They want to be big fish in their own little pond, so they jump into religious ac­tivity. They get to be head of sodalities and organizations. They work like Trojans; Ulysses cleaning the Aegean stables would seem to be resting compared to them; and their activity does more harm than good. They are hypocrites. They are promoting themselves and claiming credit for being servants of God.

Finally, there are those who tacitly adopt the principle that the end justifies the means. These people look so long at the reason that they have for doing something that they overlook the fact that the action is sinful. For instance, a woman who won't talk to her husband because he won't agree to buy a new house* may completely exonerate herself of any fault in her lack of duty to her spouse. "He's mean," she says over and over again until she has convinced herself that what she is doing is all right.

And in everyone of these cases of self-decep­tion the individual is hurting himself. The religion -is-a-luxury people grow lukewarm and frequently fall away from their fervor and even from their faith itself as soon as they feel that spiritual practices are burdensome; the self-promoters by ­religious-activity people become uncooperative and even enemies of the organization as soon as they can't have their own little way any longer; the it's-all-right-because-I'm-hurt people bring sorrow into the lives of everybody including their own.
Self-deception doesn't pay.  It is much better to be free of illusions. The suffering we do in facing the truth is much less than the pain and anguish that smashes us like the delayed action of a block buster. Therefore, we suggest two things: First, be unselfish; second, purify your intention constantly.

 Be unselfish. This is important because self-­deception is the product of selfishness. Think of God; love Him and work for Him in all your activities. It doesn't matter who does the work, or who gets the glory as long as the work gets done. You won't lose out ever by being unselfish.

Purify your intention constantly. Unworthy motives have a way of infiltrating our actions if we are not constantly alert. Even works that have been begun with a pure intention of glorifying God can be spoiled by a lowering of aim.

There is no better way of preparing for heaven than in striving not to deceive ourselves on earth.

*The original example was 'a new hat'.  I had to update that one!  In this day, we have much bigger aspirations.  "We've come a long way, Baby!"

Woman at Prayer - 5, "Liberty"

From the booklet A Woman at Prayer by Rev. Conleth Overman.
Editors note:  Vicious Circle was a popular term (usually just shortened to V.C.) around 1960 when people were beginning to feel that their lives were getting out of control.  .  Today we just are used to it.

Today's "V.C."

A vicious circle can turn life into a tread-mill

A vicious circle can turn life into a tread-mill. Every age has its own peculiar "V. C."   We have ours. It goes something like this:

People have no taste for the spiritual because they are so attracted by material things. They would learn to love the spiritual if they would make a real attempt to live a more spiritual life; but to live a more spiritual life they must cease being so preoccupied with the material.

What can be done to break up this vicious circle? Until people actually "taste and see that the Lord is good" they will not be sufficiently motivated to reduce their preoccupation with material things. And the attraction of the senses, of earthly satisfactions, hold them back from giv­ing the spiritual a try. Perhaps education will break the circle; perhaps people will accept the word of authority and make a beginning. If we could dispel the enchantment which material things throw over the human spirit for just a little while so that the individual

 could turn to God and experience the "joy of the Lord", that would do the trick.

View for Vespers on my deck Wednesday

Strange Inversion 

Isn't it strange that creatures are allowed to crowd out the Creator? We get so involved with the trinkets that God has made and given us that we forget the loving Father from whom they come.

Isn't that like us moderns? We have one big purpose in life: to develop spiritually. Food is to keep us alive, houses to shelter us, clothes to protect and adorn us, recreation to keep us in good health - all this while we work out our destiny of becoming saints. But what happens? We act like children who, when given an all-day sucker, ignore the candy and start chewing the stick.

Inner Attraction 

Whatever good there is in creatures to make us want them has been put there by God. God is the source of being, and beauty, and goodness. If creatures, then, have the power of making us happy, their infinite Creator has an infinitely greater power of giving us joy. Thus it was that the Psalmist cried out: "0 taste and see that the Lord is good; happy is the man that trusts in him." (PS. 34. 8)   The Holy Trinity dwells in the soul of every justified person; when you are in the state of Sanctifying Grace the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, are present to you in a special way.  Thomas Aquinas says that through the indwelling the Trinity is with you "to be enjoyed."

And what joy is not the infinite God able to impart to those that love Him!

My prayer corner

Why do not more of us enjoy the sweetness of our companionship with the three divine Persons of the Most Blessed Trinity? Because we are so seldom aware of their presence, because we so seldom turn inward to them, because our minds and hearts are fastened on a million trivialities. We are the slaves of creatures, and thus cannot enjoy the leisure of the children of God. Our greatest need, therefore, is

• simplicity in our liv­ing,
• self - denial in our pleasures,
• recollection throughout the day,
• and a spirit of detachment from material things. 

Only thus is liberty of spirit bought; only thus can we "taste and see that the Lord is good."

A Woman at Prayer - 4, "Values"

4th in a series of meditations from A Woman at Prayer by Rev. Conleth Overman

ON SARDINE CANS

Thought given to values can save worlds of grief.

  picture from pinnacleworldwide.co.uk

There is a story told of a missionary in the South Sea Islands. The only way that he could win the good will of the natives was by practicing medicine. It so happened that the son of the Island chief fell ill of pneumonia. When the witch doctors seemed unable to break the spell of the disease, the chief called for the missionary. His sound medical treatment saved the child. The chief was immensely pleased and, in his gratitude, determined to give the missionary the tribe's most precious possession. On the day determined amid great pomp and ceremony the object most treasured was presented to the missionary. He could scarce keep from laughing: The treasure of the tribe was a sardine can!

Perhaps this never happened; this story may be only a modern parable. But it carries a pointed lesson.   How many of us are like those South Sea Islanders in our over-valuation of the things we possess. Very few of us do not have our "sardine cans." 

Values to be Examined

Much confusion is introduced into women's lives by wrong values. To esteem a trifle as a treasure is the way to be unhappy. Why go to a lot of trouble to do what is not worth doing?  The poet Lowell pointed out the tragedy of wrong values when he wrote the lines:  "In the devil's booth all things are sold;  trifles are bought with a whole souls tasking." *   It would do us all a great deal of good if from time to time we would sit ourselves down and examine our values. It may be that we think too much of material possessions. Do we work and skimp and save so that we can buy more clothes, another appliance, new furniture?  The possession of these things is not in itself a virtue. They may not be worth the bother involved. Someone recently spoke of people who are "so busy making a career that they have no time to live."  That could be applied to many of us; we are so busy getting things for ourselves that we stop living.

Keeping up with the Joneses, staying abreast of every fad, trying to own each new product as the persistent advertisers cram it down our throats - all of this runs us ragged.  Life becomes a merry-go-round, a rat race, as a result of setting up erroneous values.

Christ's Clarification

Our  Lord gave us a yard-stick for measuring the true values of everything: . "What does it profit a man,". He said, "if he gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his soul? Or, what would a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matt. 16:26)

In a well-ordered life the spiritual is most es­teemed.  We were put in life to achieve a spiritual destiny. Therefore things of the spirit - prayer, church services, the Sacraments, love of God and neighbor, doing God's will - are most precious because they directly contribute to our success in life. Material things have their uses it is true, but their value is relative.  Only if material things really contribute to our soul's development are they worth bothering about. Once we learn this truth we'll throw out all the "sardine cans" that are cluttering up our life. 

*James Russell Lowell, The Vision of Sir Launfal

Woman at Prayer - 3, "Peace"

A third in a series of essays from the booklet A Woman at Prayer by Rev. Conleth Overman

PEACE, IT'S WONDERFUL

We each make our peace or mar it.

We live in a confused, mad world. And if we are not careful we shall all be mad. It will be worth our while, therefore, to try to understand what peace is and how we can acquire it for our­selves. 

The opposite of peace is chaos. When contrary forces collide head on, when warring, hostile per­sonalities meet, when pressures are applied from many sides, the result is a state of disorder. Lives are ruined, happiness destroyed, minds are twisted, in an atmosphere of enmity and con­fusion. 

We were made for the enjoyment of peace. Had there been no sin in the world, peace would be our permanent environment. In a better world undisturbed by sin, peace would come naturally to us. But today, given the world as it is, we must use intelligence and determination to ac­quire for ourselves the peace we need to live in. 

Thomas Aquinas has given us the classical definition of peace: "Peace, is the tranquillity of order."  We can transfer his definition into more familiar idiom:  "Peace is having everything in its place". Once you put things where they belong you begin to enjoy the tranquillity and serenity of mind that we call peace. 

Peace is not dead, passive stagnation. St.  Thomas' definition of peace allows for a full measure of satisfying activity. It is possible to have the interplay of great forces, of powerful streams of thought and action, as long as they are ordered, properly subordinated, that is, in their proper places. 

We all agree that peace is very desirable; we admit, also, that we can live a full life under the reign of peace; the question now is, how can we acquire peace in our day. The answer is not hard to find: Personal peace is the product of the virtue of justice. This is what the Holy Spirit meant in the Psalms by the verse: "Justice and peace have embraced." (Ps. 85:11) 

Justice is the virtue that inclines us to give to everyone what is due to them. Justice gives us a calm view of everything ;  justice enables us to have the proper perspective, to give the right emphasis. What disturbs us most is that we do not see things clearly. We over-value trifles, we under-value essentials. And the result of such confused thinking is restlessness, confusion, wasted effort, the feeling of failure and frustra­tion.

Most of us get the impression of peacefulness from St. Joseph. In the pages of the New Testa­ment he moves with quietness and sureness. He had great problems and heavy responsibilities; but he was ever in peace. What was the secret of his peace? St. Matthew tells us: "For Joseph .... was a just man." (1:19).   Joseph was unafraid and unconfused because his eyes were firmly fixed on what was right, what was due to God and man. 

Once we are persons of peace, then we can begin to weave a pattern of peace around us. We should make our own the prayer of St. Francis of Assissi: 

"Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon; 

Where there is doubt, faith; 

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light; 

And where there is sadness, joy." , 

Woman at Prayer - 2, "Security"

Another essay from the booklet A Woman at Prayer by Rev. Conleth Overman:

GOD, OUR SECURITY

It is easy to be secure - if we know how

There can be no question about the need that each of us has for security.  Lewis Carroll once wrote a phrase that shows us why: "We are but older children, dear, who fret to find our bedtime near."  * Much of adult bravery is merely whistling in the dark.

It is understandable that we should have fears and moments of anxiety. Our little personality is surrounded by the limitless unknown. We have but a brief few minutes of life here on this earth where time has dragged its slow length on for countless centuries. And after life what? Tenny­son reflected on the puzzle of eternity: "Twilight and evening bell, and after that the dark ... " **  The candle of life is snuffed out and we are alone in the dark.

And thus, standing on the sliding slope of time, we clutch at all sorts of straws to get for our­self a feeling of security. There are some that grasp material possessions; and all that they actually gain is further anxiety. Others grasp at a partner in marriage; and they, in as much as original sin has made human nature a broken reed that pierces the hand, find further sorrow. And yet others hold fast to reputation which is a mocking scold at best. And all of these, because they look to creatures for their security, build on sand.

And there is yet another desperate expediency to which many yield in their frantic search for security. They look to their own inner resources for security. But in as much as they themselves are creatures they are only trying to draw water from empty wells with broken pitchers.

The greatest secret that we can learn for our peace of mind is the futility of creatures. It took David a lifetime to learn this lesson. But he learned it and wrote in his old age: "Omnis homo mendax" (every man's a liar) ***. Neither possessions, nor spouse, nor child, nor fame, nor self, provides a firm foundation for our security. It is only by admitting the limitations of creatures -ourselves included-that We begin to have sense. Then we can begin to turn to God.

God is our security. He is eternal and thus unaffected by the mutability of time; He is in­finite. and thus limitless; He is changeless, and thus sure and steady; He is all merciful, and thus possessed of unbounded compassion for weakness; He is just, and thus appreciative of every spark of good in us.
God does not love us because we deserve His love; God loves us because He is God. "God hath first loved us," exclaimed St. John (I John 4:19). God fell in love with nothingness, with weakness and little­ness. It is our very limitations that attract God. Our darkness calls out to God's light, because light shows up best in darkness.

We are told that the Saints gloried in their weakness, in their faults and failings. It is true that they recognized the glimmerings of virtue that were manifested in their lives. But they gave credit for what goodness they possessed to God. They welcomed their limitations because thus they had no desire to steal any glory from God. All that was good in themselves they ascribed to God; their sins they claimed for their own. "Thou dost but crown thy graces, 0 God," cried out ·St. Augustine, "when thou dost reward our merits!"

The sincere acceptance of ourselves, and com­plete dependence on God - this is the way to inner security and peace of mind.

*Proglogue to Through the Looking Glass
**Crossing the Bar
*** Psalm 116:11  My New American Bible says:  "No one can be trusted".   Man may dissappoint but God never does

A Woman at Prayer - "Perfection"

A Woman at Prayer is  a book from the Cenacle Retreat House in Rosharon, Texas.  It was published in 1962 by The Rev. Conleth Overman.  The book came into my possession about 1973 and was a real help to me then and through the years since.   The sub-title,  Suggestions for Holiness, sets it apart from most modern books for women in that it is quite plain spoken.  But even though it isn't for the faint of heart and is somewhat dated,  I decided that from time to time (Fridays?) I will  publish some of  Rev. Overman's essays just as he wrote them.

PERFECTION FOR LAYFOLK

To be upward-reaching is  a sign of life.

    When Our Divine Saviour said, "Be ye perfect," He was addressing Himself to all.  It was a very high perfection that He urged upon His followers.  "Be ye perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Mat 5:48).   Consequently each Christian is bound to two things:  First to strive for perfection, and, second, to try to scale the heights without ever being content wit a second-best sort of holiness.

     Since the model of our personal perfection is the infinite perfection of God, the question naturally suggests itself, how is God perfect?  God is perfect in his boundless life of knowledge and love.  God the Father loves Himself and expresses His love in the Word, His divine Son;  God loves Himself and breathes forth this love in the Holy Spirit.  This is God's limitless perfect life.

     Our perfection, then, consists in knowing and loving God with all the power of our being.  Knowledge alone won't sanctify us; we must prefer God above all things and cleave to Him. But an ever increasing  knowledge of God is essential if we are to grow in love to the perfec­tion expected of us by Christ.

     Two things we must avoid if we would be per­fect:  One, we must cease to know the world; and  we must refrain from loving the passing things of time. The life of multitudes today con­sists in knowing creatures* to the exclusion of a knowledge of God.  Many people have their minds so filled with creatures* of all descriptions-cocktails, cigarettes, TV, movies, food, best-sellers, sex, headlines, gossip, clothing,  ads, business, etc.--that there is no room in their heads  for the truths of God. And the same goes for their wills. They have so attached themselves to things, both animate and inanimate, real and imaginary, that their wills are bound down to earth. "Where your treasure is," said Christ with great psychological insight, "there is your heart also." (Mat 6:21)

    So, break your bonds! Practice recollection to clear your mind of the mirage of creatures; practice detachment to open your wills to the attraction of Divine goodness.   Are we asking so much? Well, child, you'll have to make these two renunciations ultimately anyhow. The angel of death will forcibly tear you away from your toys and gewgaws; and your false loves will be revealed.   It is much wiser to set. yourself to this painful process of recollection and detachment now.

     Know God! Put aside the slop that goes into your mind through the multiple channels of mod­ern communication. Take up your New Testa­ment, your Imitation of Christ, one of the good books about the Saints or God's revealed truth. Pull the shades of your bedroom windows, get down on your knees and ponder the great truths of the Faith. Fill your mind with God.

     Love God! To love means to prefer, to cleave to.   Stop trying to possess all the unnecessary creatures that your eyes see; be content with simple things. Turn to God.  Love to be in His presence at Church.  Love to remember his spiritual presence within you: "Know you not that you are the temple of God?" (I Cor: 3:16)


*  'Creature' means material things, esp. the all-pervasive materialism of our culture.  

P.S.  Phil. 3:13-14

Editor's note: What popped out at me the first time I read this, was how to love God.  This had puzzled me for some time.  But I could easily understand how to prefer Him to all others, and to hang on to Him when the world seemed to be turned upside down.